“To lose, but not to lose respect for yourself”: the psychology of defeat

Many are sure that successful and effective education can only be carried out with positive examples. Is it so? Often the correct “work on mistakes”, “debriefing” give much more than experience without errors and victory without defeat.

During my trip to Denmark, I was extremely surprised when I found out that the historical memorial “1864”, located near the city of Sennerborg, was not dedicated to the victory of the Danish weapons, but its defeat. It turned out that in 1864, 10 thousand Prussians defeated the irregular army of the Danes, about three thousandth, and as a result of this battle, Denmark finally lost Schleswig-Holstein, which still for the most part remains German.

And in the place of the seemingly sad defeat, the Danes appeared a pompous memorial that reconstructed this battle. A large number of people attend it, many children’s groups come with excursions, watching films;You can sit in the trench, taste the soldier’s cuisine, get a gun bullet of that time and much more in memory.

I asked a friend of the Danes: is there a contradiction – you were defeated and now you are so widely noted?

He said: “We do not celebrate, but remember and educate patriotism”. I asked to clarify about the “education of patriotism”: “You lost in this battle to the dust. They suffered a bitter defeat. This is rather some kind of humiliated patriotism “.

My acquaintance smiled and answered: “You can lose, but not lose respect for yourself, you can lose, but walk with your head raised and preserve self -esteem;you can lose the territory, forced to obey the power, but the remaining, albeit small, part of the earth to equip so much to live happily and happily, better than winners. If you like, even a sense of humor is brought up here: you can’t treat history, especially military defeats, so seriously. We knock down a little pathos, thereby helping to free ourselves from complexes. “.

For our psychology, this is a rather unusual and even strange point of view

In general, we try to forget the defeats, to drive the memory of them deep into https://www.mwjc.co.uk/contact-us/ the unconscious, leaving in consciousness only a place for victories, at the price of which we will not stand. This is the only way sacrificial patriotism is brought up.

And for us, the size is still played by the fundamental role: 50 years before this battle near Sennerborg near Borodino, about 100 thousand Russian and French were killed. By the way, for Western historiography, leaving the battlefield after the battle was a defeat, but we called the Borodinsky fight with a victory, because we believe that patriotism can only be educated with positive examples.

But it turned out that the Danes were able to adapt the case and defeat for this. And to extract lessons from it, to look for positive even where the canon, it would seem, demands to sprinkle with ashes and grieve. After all, everything will come in handy in life – sorrows, and joys, and victories, and defeats. Which, as you know, “you yourself should not distinguish”.

The top 5 bride customs from Europe to incorporate into your great time

There are many European hungarian women marriage customs you can add into your special time, including the foods, song, and entertaining routines for your guests. These customs come from various parts of europe, such as France, Greece, Germany, and more.

The humming of bells before and after the service is a typical custom at German weddings. This is done in the hope that it will drive away evil spirits https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/beautiful-useless-obscure-words and grant the few success. The child’s closest buddies are frequently current when this is done.

Some Europeans do not have these special attendants, in contrast to the united states, where bridesmaids and groomsmen participate in the service. Preferably, lovers frequently share a seat throughout the ceremony. They typically sit on a sofa or in chair while being surrounded by their friends and family.

In some nations, such as the Netherlands, a croquembouche is traditionally served for bride dessert. This is a tall, cone-shaped bread made of custard dessert that is filled with chocolate and chocolate. For those who want to try something new, this is a fantastic substitute for the conventional American marriage bread.

A krevati, which means “bed celebration,” is held at the bride’s house three days prior to a Greek ceremony by her friends and family. For reproduction and success, customers in this tradition place cash and children on the bed. In order to relieve the bride’s pressure before her marriage morning, they even sing and dance with her.

The future wife is not permitted to sleeping on her wedding night in countless German, Swiss, and Austrian celebrations. Her closest buddies will crack sheets at her home the evening before the wedding. The woman’s desire to always move hungry is symbolized by the plates breaking. It’s a good way for the friends to support the pair in this way.